Back to School: Building Connection with your Kids at Every Age

As families prepare for the back-to-school season, it’s easy to get caught up in the lists, lunches, and logistics. But for many kids and teens, this time also brings excitement, stress, and uncertainty. Some kids may be facing individual challenges when they think about getting back to school. Taking a moment to check in with your kids emotionally—staying connected with them — can make a big difference.

No matter your child’s age, your support matters. As our kids grow, how we connect with them may need to shift. Conversations about mental health and substance use are an important part of that. You don’t need all the answers—you just need to be present, and willing to listen.

Connection with Youth Looks Different at Every Stage

Middle School (Pre-teens Ages 9–12):
Pre-teens are exploring new independence and often feel unsure of where they fit in. They may be sensitive to peer pressure, body image, and shifting friendships. This is a good time to open conversations about substances like vaping, alcohol, and cannabis in age-appropriate ways.

High School (Teen Ages 13–18):
Teens face more exposure to substances and more pressure to fit in with their peers. As they assert their independence, it’s common for your communication with them to shift—but your influence is still strong. Keeping conversations open and honest helps build trust and resilience.

College and University: Young Adults (Ages 19–24):
University and college life brings new freedoms and risks. Many young adults will encounter alcohol, cannabis, or prescription drugs in their campus environments. Staying connected—even from a distance—can help them navigate challenges with confidence and clarity while respecting their autonomy.

Mental Health and Substance Use: How They’re Connected

Mental health shapes how we think, feel, and handle stress. For youth, this can be especially challenging. Anxiety, depression, and other concerns often surface during adolescence—and it’s not uncommon for young people to turn to substances as a way to cope.

Mental health disorders and substance use often go hand in hand.  Teens and young adults are at higher risk of experiencing both simultaneously than any other age group. According to CAMH, 20% of Canadians with a mental illness also have a substance use disorder. Among young people, this overlap can be especially pronounced.

Risk factors like academic stress, discrimination, trauma, or isolation may increase a young person’s vulnerability to using substances to cope — but these risks don’t determine a young person’s path. What matters most is having consistent support and a safe place to talk.

Supporting Your Child: Tips for Ongoing Conversations

1. Create a Safe Space to Talk
   Let your child know they can come to you with questions or worries—big or small. You don’t have to fix everything; just listen.
2. Ask, Don’t Assume
   Show genuine interest in their lives. Open-ended questions like “How’s everything going with your friends lately?” or “What do you think about what’s happening at school?” invite more meaningful responses.
3. Validate Their Feelings
   If your teen says something like “Smoking weed helps me calm down,” try to stay open. They may be telling you they’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Use the moment to talk about healthier ways to cope.
4. Avoid Blame or Dismissiveness
   Starting with “What’s wrong with you?” or “You have nothing to be anxious   about” can shut the conversation down. Instead, acknowledge their experience and keep the tone supportive.
5. Model Compassion
   Teens may struggle to find the words. Remind them that you’re here—no matter what—and that talking about hard things takes courage.

Keep the Connection Going

Every conversation helps build a foundation of trust. Even small check-ins on a regular basis can go a long way in supporting your child’s mental health and decision-making.

A few final reminders:

• Stay informed about current trends and risks associated with substance use
• Stay curious and informed about what your child is experiencing.
• Keep communication non-judgmental and age-appropriate.
• Reach out for support if you need it.   The Parent Support Hub offers free, confidential help 24/7—including access to trained mental health and addiction counselors with information on youth substance use.

A Strong Start: Guiding your kids through any Back to School challenges

Join us for Substance’s upcoming “Let’s Talk Drugs” online webinar for parents – Wednesday, September 17^th at noon.

This informative webinar is a part of a new national awareness campaign “Together for Safer Homes.” This month, we encourage families to reduce risks at home by returning unused and expired medications to their local pharmacy.  Let’s work together to build safer homes and healthier communities.

Click here to Register.