Finding Strength in the Journey: Mayci Neeley on Fertility, Motherhood, and Resilience

How did learning about your hormones impact your fertility journey, and what do you wish more women knew about hormone health when trying to conceive? 

I think before going through IVF I didn’t really realize how much your hormones played a big part of your plan to your journey and how when things are off balance it makes it not harder on me mentally but also just to get pregnant. I didn’t really realize that to my first IVF journey, my hormones were a little bit off so they put me on oral hormones to help kind of balance everything out. Hormones are a huge part of the process of my fertility and IVF journeys. I wish more women knew about taking all the drugs they give you. For example, with my recent IVF transfer, I was on oral hormones, suppositories, I did progesterone and oil shot hormones and hormone patches. It’s a huge part of my journey and they suck but I’m also very grateful because they helped me make a baby.  

Going through IVF is physically and emotionally demanding, what advice would you offer to someone just starting the process? 

I would just say to really utilize self-care and maybe have someone available to talk to you because you can feel alone and it feels lonely sometimes going through IVF. For me, and I don’t feel like people talk about this enough, the mental part was harder than the physical. Everyone talks about the shots and the pain, but for me the mental part of freezing the eggs and turning them into embryos and all the hormones really was the hardest part for me because the hormones kind of make you mentally crazy I would say. I think just knowing the mental part is hard so make sure you have things in place for that whether you really utilize self-care so like have a massage or like go to the movies or make a good nighttime routine to destress. The less stress the better so I’d always say to really prioritize your mental health and then maybe being OK saying no to things and not going to things because it does take a toll on you mentally and physically.  

What was your postpartum experience like, and how did you prioritize your own healing, mentally and physically, while caring for your newborn? 

My postpartum experience so far has been pretty good after the first couple weeks which were pretty hard for me emotionally. I was crying and I didn’t even know why I was crying. I think it was the hormones and the baby blues. But now overall, I have nothing but happiness and am so grateful. As far as prioritizing my own healing, I definitely got out of the house way too quick and way too much. I was out of the house on my own solo within less than a week and probably shouldn’t have done that. I think my body kind of paid the consequences for that, but it’s always really good for me mentally to get out of the house because if I just sit in the house and do nothing I will get depressed. I’ve been super busy which has been great but so exhausting. Physically, doing a C-section is very difficult. The first two weeks are hard and it just hurts but then after two weeks, you start to feel like a normal human being. The healing process has been pretty good. It’s my third C-section now so I feel like it doesn’t get easier, but it’s like you know what to expect so it’s not too bad I would say. The only thing is that like this time I feel like my postpartum contractions are so intense. I never really noticed him that much before but it was very intense and painful. But overall, like it’s been a great journey my newborn has been so good. She only wakes up one time a night since she was born.  

You’ve shared your story of loss with incredible strength, how did you navigate grief while stepping into motherhood, and what helped you find light in such a dark time? 

How do I navigate grief? It was really challenging. I’m not going to lie. It was very dark and it was really hard. I feel like I was going through everything alone because when I was going through it, it is back when people didn’t really share vulnerable things on social media because it was like 2014-2015 so I was feeling very alone. But what helped me find light was just knowing my son was in my belly and that I was doing it for him and then through doing it for him, I was doing it for me. Also, I had a good support system. My parents were very supportive of me and helped me and got me out of the house. We went baby shopping together just to get me excited for the baby. My parents kept me very productive and active and I think that really helped me with my grief. Then once I became a mom, I felt so much better and felt like it was my purpose – I felt like I finally knew what true love was and my purpose and overall. I always say my son to this day that he’s my saving grace and it’s because he truly what got me through my pregnancy and he’s also what got me through motherhood and motivated me to be successful. It was all because of him. 

What has parenting multiple little ones taught you about yourself, and how do you balance showing up for them while also showing up for yourself? 

Parenting multiple kids has taught me that I need to work on my patience and learn to be more patient and understanding. I feel like it is sometimes hard to show up for yourself because you do lose yourself a little bit in motherhood when you become a mom wonder “Who am I?”. I have just kind of learned how to balance both by being like OK I’m Mayci and this I what I like to do and that I’m also mom and this is how I am with my kids and I’m a good mom. I feel like just prioritizing the time you do have with them like because I do work so much. I feel like I try to put my phone down when it’s family time even though I want to keep working on my phone, but I just try to prioritize stuff like that or like when we do a family dinner we put phones away and say let’s talk about school or let’s talk about what’s going on. We sometimes play a family game or watch a family movie. The ways I show up for myself is during the nighttime once the kids are down. I like a little shower routine with no distractions. It’s just me and myself and I. I do my little nighttime routine and get in bed and watch a show and do something for myself, but I feel like that’s how I balance things not going crazy. 

You’ve built a powerful platform and community, how has sharing your story helped others, and what does that connection mean to you today? 

Sharing my story has helped so many people and that’s honestly why I did it. The whole reason why I even have a social media career is because I decided to share my story because I didn’t want any other woman to feel the way I did when I was going through everything. That was my whole purpose and even starting social media doing that was like I just wanted to help other women. At the end of the day, that means the most to me and that is still my purpose now. That’s what writing this book was for and that’s why it’s always been a goal of mine because I want to show up for other women like me and who felt alone, or no one could relate to them. I’m super excited that I can tell my story and my memoir “Told You So.” 

Is there anything you’ve worked on, or are currently working on, that you’d like to share with our readers? (Book, advocacy work, upcoming projects, etc.) 

What’s one piece of encouragement you’d offer to someone in the thick of their own path to parenthood, whether they’re trying, grieving, or parenting their first child? 

One piece of advice is to take care of yourself first. Everyone always use this analogy of putting your oxygen mask on before anyone else. I feel like in order to be a good mom or to be a good person, you need to take care of yourself first. Once you love yourself and know your worth, prioritize that and then you can be a great mom. You can be a great person. Life is short try to enjoy it as much as you can. The little things don’t matter at the end of the day whereas being healthy and happy matters.